Boycott Chuck Norris — Not!

Chuck Norris does not need a laxative. He scares the sh*& out of himself.

Chuck Norris Gives Red Bull wings

The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot. Chuck Norris is the only human with such ability.

Mark 10:27 “Looking upon them, Jesus said, ‘With men it is impossible, but not with Chuck Norris; for all things are possible with Chuck Norris.’

Chuck Norris can carve a knife with a stick.

Blind people fear Chuck Norris more than the rest of us- they have NO chance of seeing him coming.

When Chuck Norris wants a breakfast cereal, he eats Kellogs "Razor Bran".

Simon now plays a game "Chuck Norris Says…"

Chuck Norris slept with the Virgin Mary before she married Joseph. You know how the story goes afterwards.

CN now stands for "Cartoon Network" - before it used to stand for "Chuck Norris" - all the carachters have to be animated now because all live actors died while shooting the first episode - from a roundhouse kick. You know by whom.